It’s hard to even fathom that my last post was written over a year ago. So much has happened in the last 379 days and, at the same time, nothing at all of significance has happened. Life hasn’t been some absurd rollercoaster but, rather, has been exceptionally stable, consistent, and calm. My days have been a relative rinse-and-repeat kind of situation, filled with cooking meals, taking children to and from school, attending football games, band competitions, and choir performances, tending the garden, avoiding the brutal Oklahoma summer heat, and just doing all of the things that a mother of four children does. It has been, for lack of a better word, stagnant.
In that stagnancy, I found myself losing my wits. Every time that I would try to read a book or watch a video or movie or TV show, the phone would ring or someone would suddenly need my attention. I became frustrated and depressed because I realized that I am living every second of my life for the purpose of pleasing or serving someone else. I was no longer taking care of myself; I had put myself, unintentionally, on the back burner and forgotten about me entirely. And that’s what led me here. The realization that I matter just as much as the children, husband, and myriad family members that I love so dearly, the realization that I cannot pour from an empty cup; that is what brought me to where I am in this quiet, peaceful moment.
We live in a busy, crazy, hectic world and, because of that, it is so easy to focus on everything and everyone else around us while letting ourselves go by the wayside. But, as I am finding, it is so extremely important to focus on ourselves. It is something that makes us healthier and happier, it makes our interactions with others more meaningful, our days more satisfying, and our accomplishments more rewarding. And it’s something that starts with the most basic things. Drinking water, eating balanced meals, moving, tending to our hygiene… They are the most basic, simple things that we can do; and yet, they add up to so much more than that.
With that, I am challenging myself to a year, 365 days, of working on improving myself, becoming my highest self. As a part of this challenge, I will post here, sometimes daily, sometimes weekly, to keep you updated on my progress. From the things that made my days great to the moments where I struggled, you will see all of it. The hope in posting is to keep myself accountable. At the end of this year, I hope to be a much better version of myself; not just for me, but for my children and my husband as well. They deserve the best me that I can possibly give them. And, just as importantly, so do I.
Not A Mombie 